Friends

A letter to my siblings…

Dec 31st, 2010

Week 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

I’ve put off doing this one for several weeks– mostly because the letter I intended to write for this one is a letter I’ve already written here before. It’s something I talk about pretty frequently… or someone I talk about, here, pretty frequently. Mostly because this loss is and has been such a major event in my adult life. But… for this ‘letter a week,’ I’m going in a completely different direction. Hey, it’s my blog and I can turn left if I want to. :Þ ← I just really wanted to use that character.

So, on to the letter…

To my church family, my sisters in Christ,

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thanked God for all of you. I also can’t tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you; how much I enjoy your company; and how much you mean to me. I truly consider you to be a part of my family– and having an extended family as wonderful as you all are is truly a God given blessing.

I have attended many churches over the years and have never, ever, felt as welcomed as I did the day I walked through the doors to the sanctuary. I knew, from the moment Brother Philip began his sermon, that this was where I was supposed to be. We may not be related by blood, but you all were meant to be my family.

Jennifer, Betty, Paula, Wanda, Sandy, Christie, Leigh– you are my sisters and you are amazing friends. I learn from you, I learn with you, I grow with you, and I enjoy you more than words can express. My heart is so full– my cup truly runneth over– and I am so very thankful that you all are in my life. (And can I say I am so looking forward to spending New Year’s Eve with the best bunch of chicks a chick has ever known!!) I love you all, truly, from the bottom of my heart and look forward to many many years of friendship and growing. (And your other halves ain’t half bad either… *wink*)

In His Love,
Nickie

~~~~~
Photo credit: federico stevanin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

October is gone, November is here…

Nov 1st, 2010

by Nickie.

4 comments

I can’t believe how quickly October flew by. I can’t believe it’s already November 1st, and Christmas is just right around the corner. My my how time does fly.

This weekend flew by as quickly as the winds changed. And it was a wonderful weekend!

We (hubby, kids, and myself) spent Saturday at church, knee deep in our Harvest Festival (we have a gathering at church instead of trick-or-treating… a time of fellowship for kids, teens, and adults; and a time of sharing the love of Jesus Christ and celebrating Him). There were kids running around everywhere… everywhere I looked I saw smiling faces– smiles that touch the depth of your soul– and heard the joyous laughter of people who not only love one another’s company, but love one another.

We had games, oh the games– homemade games that cost only time and were carefully constructed with much love. The kids loved the games. They played the games over and over; and over again. Our youth spread out on the front lawn for a game of football, not a competitive game but a game filled with silliness and laughter and time spent just being together. We had food, deliciously filling food made by some of the amazing cooks within our church membership.

We spent several hours just enjoying each other and being in His presence. I have pictures, and will share some of them soon.

Sunday was our Fifth Sunday dinner and fellowship (yes, we love fellowship!). After our morning service, we all adjourned to the Fellowship Hall where we had so much food we needed three plates just to get a small portion of each different dish! (No, I didn’t pile up three plates, but I did have a hefty plateful!) We really do have amazing cooks within our membership! We spent quite a while gathered around the tables, eating and fellowshiping. Once we were all completely stuffed, we were blessed by a wonderful Praise & Worship Choir from another local church. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful their performance was. I was moved to tears, literally. I love praising the Lord in song and music, and that is exactly what we did for more than an hour and a half. His presence was all over the place. My heart was so full of love that it overflowed in the form of tears. It was an absolutely amazing day, and one I could repeat every day of the week without complaint.

It was a wonderful weekend that went by entirely too fast. But what a way to welcome November!

(I will share pictures as soon as I get them ready for web viewing.)

TGIM?

Oct 11th, 2010

by Nickie.

Comments are off for this post

Thank goodness it’s Monday. The weekend was… long.

We had company over all weekend (so I didn’t have a chance to blog). A friend is going through a very very hard time… that’s literally an understatement. And I have no idea how to help her. I have prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I don’t know what else to do, and I am so worried what she will do. I’ve found a place to take her so she can get help, but getting her away from her husband is proving to be impossible. He isn’t being supportive or helpful at all. In fact, when she told him what she’s going through (flashbacks, memories from childhood rape and molestation) he told her it’s her past, her problem, deal with it herself. And he told her that she doesn’t need to be talking to anybody about it. I can’t, for the life of me, understand how any man could possibly be so incredibly insensitive. Last night he got angry because at the end of church service, she went to the alter to pray. I don’t understand that, at all. And when she asks me what to do, I don’t know what to tell her. I’ve told her to pray, to give it all to God, to ask Him to give her strength, and now I’ve told her to pray for her husband also. But what do you do when your own spouse is trying to interfere with- trying to hinder- your relationship with God? I’m at a loss.

And with everything else going on, I feel lousy even complaining about not being able to help her. There are people going through such tragic events right now that all this seems trivial. I know it’s not, but it just doesn’t seem right to complain about my inability to help a friend when there are three amazing women grieving their sweet babies.

~~~~~~~~~~

I received an email from a friend that gave me a much needed chuckle and I want to share that with you. Maybe you, too, need a good chuckle on this Monday morning.

Letters to Dear Abby

Dear Abby admitted she was at a loss to answer the following:

Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,
I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

I hope you have a great Monday. Now I have some blog reading (and posting) to catch up on.

When blended families don’t…

Sep 12th, 2010

by Nickie.

Comments are off for this post

I spent a while talking with a friend who is going through a hard time in her marriage. It’s one of those times that reminds me just how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband, and just how blessed we are to have a family that really works… together.

I never fully understood how difficult having a blended family could be until hubby and I married. We both had children we brought into our marriage… and essentially became an ‘instant’ family when we said “I do.” But we’ve never thought of ourselves as being a blended family. Though, technically, it is his, mine, and ours; we have never thought of it that way. We’ve always thought of our family as being just that… our family. The fact that we’re blended has never mattered.

To some it does matter, however. I have seen marriages fall apart because the families never actually blend. They enter the relationship with a ‘his’ and ‘hers’ attitude and never change it. He doesn’t allow the new wife to step into the parenting role with his kids. Or she resents that the new husband tries to discipline her kids. But that is just so wrong. When two people decide they want to commit to each other, they’re not just tagging the kids along for the ride. They are committing to the creation of a new family. And families aren’t supposed to be ‘his’ and ‘hers’– they are supposed to be ours.

I know from experience how hard it can be to step into the ‘step-mom’ role. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. It is hard because I don’t want to do anything that would make my step-son feel that I’m being biased or unfair. The fact that I didn’t carry him or give birth to him doesn’t make him any less my child. He is a part of my family just as much as the children I did carry and give birth to. I am careful to not overstep my authority– he has a mother and I would never do anything to disrupt that relationship or to step on her authority. (Out of respect for my step-son.) But that doesn’t mean that I treat him differently than the rest of the kids. I don’t. And I won’t.

Hubby is the same way. (Though he could be a little more stern with the discipline…with ALL the kids.) He treats all the kids the same. There is no special treatment for one; there is no differentiating. That wouldn’t be fair to the kids; and would only cause problems within our family.

But what about the step-parent who is not allowed to discipline? What happens when a husband won’t let the new wife discipline? Or worse– what happens when the husband sabotages the new wife’s discipline? Who is getting hurt? The kids? The new wife? Try… all of them. When children see their father (or mother) getting upset because the step-parent has disciplined them– and the father (or mother) causes a scene or argument about it in front of the children– what are the kids learning? To disrespect the step-parent; that their authority is invisible; and that no matter what they do, daddy is going to bail them out. This is not a good lesson to teach kids.

I don’t understand how anyone, man or woman, could remarry and then not expect the new spouse to be a parent to their children. If the new spouse wasn’t worthy of parenting your children, you shouldn’t have married him (or her). If the new spouse isn’t doing any harm– not being abusive (and really, anyone who’d stay married to someone who would is abusive to a child should be horse-whipped anyway)– then they should be allowed to discipline freely, and you shouldn’t try to sabotage it to the point of disrespect. You can’t expect to be a family, a real family, if you don’t allow the other to be a parent. It just doesn’t work that way.

My friend is going through this very thing, and it pains me to see her hurting. Her marriage is falling apart because he isn’t willing to see her side. The kids, all teenagers, treat her so disrespectful because they know he will allow it. When she tries to discipline, he gets angry with her in front of the kids. She has tried so hard to teach the kids right from wrong; to be a good step-mother (and she is phenomenal); and to show them love (and she does) but he sabotages her every step. He just doesn’t see it. Don’t get me wrong… he is a good man, he is. He is a good Christian man. He just doesn’t get it.

I hope and pray that he soon does, before more damage is done… and it’s too late.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone…

Aug 16th, 2010

by Nickie.

3 comments

Last evening turned out to be a dark and stormy one, and I was without internet for several hours. In fact, it’s only been back up for a couple hours now… but I’m so glad it is!! On our way in from church, we drove through some seriously hard rain and the lightening was bouncing all over the place. The rain we needed; the electrical show, we could have done without.

But when it rains, it really does pour. I’ve told you all about our friends, Charlotte and Jim, who are going through a really terrible time right now– and will be for the foreseeable future. Please continue to pray that God will keep His hand on them.

Last evening at church, we found out that one of hubby’s friends had committed suicide. He was such a good man– but was going through something many of us can’t understand. A few months ago, his father, a very very good Minister and wonderful man of God, lost his battle with cancer. A few months after that, his mother– so devastated by the loss of her life partner, her husband, her soul mate– took her own life in the midst of her grief. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him– losing both his parents so close together– and not having his brother here to help him in his grief. (his brother is in prison) He has two daughters who will now be grieving the loss of their daddy. Please keep this family in your prayers, especially the two little girls. They are going to need the strength and love that only God can provide; as I would imagine understanding isn’t something they will ever have. I have felt the loss of death; and I have felt the loss of death by suicide. It is a very difficult thing to deal with, and impossible to understand. These girls are going to grieve, most likely, for the rest of their lives.

It’s really ironic that not long after hearing this tragic news, the sky opened up and poured for several hours. I’m sure God was crying along with the two little girls whose hearts have to be broken.

Now I’d like to lighten the mood a little…

Hello to everyone who is here from Meet and Greet Monday. I’m very happy you decided to stop by my tiny corner of the webworld. Please feel free to poke around. If this is your first time visiting, you can read about my family and myself on my About Me page linked in the header *points up* (or just click the words, they are linked!!). I hope you enjoy your visit, and if so, please do leave a comment– I love comments!– and follow using any one of the social networks to your right– but only if you want! I will be sure to visit your site as well! You can also visit my other blog, my daily devotional… at His feet.