Brain Dump

It’s Been a While……..

Dec 29th, 2011

Quite a while actually. And a lot has happened since last time I was online. Of course, the reason for me net absence is that I moved and no longer have access to my wonderful (NOT) cable internet. Who knew I’d actually miss it, but I do. My only options are satellite net… Hughes or Wild Blue.. and as of yet I haven’t made my mind up which is the better of the two. So… no net for me.

In more pressing news… my hubby left me about three weeks ago. Packed up and moved out. Shocking? Yes, it was to me as well. But life goes on right? I’ve survived worse in my life… and then some. Needless to say, I am one angry scorned woman and you know what they say about a woman scorned.

He came up with this crazy notion that we should date each other. Date. We’re married. I don’t see how that could work and to be quite honest, I’m just a tad bit too angry for that at this moment. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be to a point where I trust him enough to let him back into my world. And the kids… his moving out has done a number on them too. My Lil Man is seeing a neuropsychologist for other things so I talked to the doc about it and he said Lil Man will be just fine. In fact, he said that he’ll handle this better than me. He said to just keep doing what I’m doing by trying to keep his normal routine as much as possible and he’ll bounce right back. That was a load of this mama’s mind for sure.

Who knows what the future holds… certainly not me. I’m taking each day as it comes. One day at a time as the old cliche says. So far so good.

So I decided to go back to work since I now need an income of my own. Starting January 5th, I’ll be back into the work of income taxes. Can’t say I’m really excited about it- it’s a job; one that will get me by till another comes along which will hopefully be before the end of tax season. Keep your fingers crossed and say a few prayers for me. With two kids to support, I can’t live off rental income and child support alone. BUT, I’m gonna be okay. I am, I know I am. No more Debbie Downer here… I’ve had enough of that.

Maybe with some luck my online presence will increase back to normal in the next few weeks. I’ve certainly missed you all and my lonely little blog… my outlet.

Until next time… peace & love to ya!!!

Just a lil update…

Sep 12th, 2011

by Nickie.

2 comments

A little update on what’s happening in my crazy-beautiful life! A brain dump…

We are moving soon… actually we are officially starting the process today. It’s going to take the rest of this month to get everything moved and settled. We’ve had to work– get this– moving into our new house around our schedules. Yes, you read that right. Instead of working our schedules around moving, we’re working the move around our schedules. Mostly my schedule, which is extremely busy this month (and next, and next). But that’s okay!

My blog looks different, I know. As much as I love my soft, muted tropical getaway, it’s time for a new look. I’m quite bored with the old one. What you see now is not the new look. It’s just a temporary transition to the new look!

I’m heading up the planning of my church’s fall festival. It’s a lot of work, and I”m having a blast doing it. I can’t even tell you how amazing it is to feel the Spirit working through me. I prayed over it before accepting the responsibility, and now God is just pouring His plans out. I love that more than I can even describe with words. My ultimate goal is for this festival to be used in honoring, praising, and worshiping God… because without Him nothing would be possible.

I have found myself surrendering more and more to God– from decision making to everyday tasks. Every time I turn around, I am finding more and more areas of my life that I wasn’t aware I hadn’t yet surrendered. I ask myself “Why?” and haven’t yet been able to come up with a good answer. It’s all about trusting Him, and who better to trust with everything than the One Who created me, knows me inside and out, and knows my future? Surrendering all is easier said than done.. I think for all of us. For me, personally, my human nature wants to take control and wants me to be in control. The cutest quote I’ve read in a while is “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans” or something to that effect. That one line is loaded with so much truth it’s not even funny!

I really want to get back to blogging more often, like I used to. I miss writing and sharing, and there have been so many things I could have shared but just didn’t have the time to really sit down and write. Hopefully once we are moved and settled, I can work it into my schedule… I will at least attempt to do that! Writing is such a great outlet, and I love especially sharing all the blessings that God has poured out on my family and me! That is worth shouting from the mountain tops, but since I don’t live in a mountainous area (though our hills have been called mini-mountains by those who are used to a flatter geography) will have to settle with shouting it from my keyboard (and of course, to those I meet in my day to day interactions)!

Share with me what you have been doing… what’s going on in your life? Good, bad, or indifferent. I may not be right next door, but I am only a keystroke away and can certainly pray on your behalf! So, do share….

Crazy, chaotic, and awesome…

Aug 30th, 2011

by Nickie.

1 comment

I haven’t been writing much lately… actually for a few months; and I know I’ve lost some readers in that time. It’s okay, and I understand. Life has been hectic (and somewhat insane) as it so often can be, and I’ve struggled to find the time to really focus on putting thoughts to paper (or keyboard in this case). I’ve missed it, I must admit. I’ve missed giving my thoughts a voice; I’ve missed sharing that voice with you; and I’ve missed, most of all, the interaction between us.

It is so heart-warming to know that there is someone else out there who feels the way I do about something; someone who is or has had the same struggles as me; someone who understands what it means to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and child of God… and how stressful this life can be. Logically, I know, we all know, that we aren’t alone in this world. But sometimes it’s hard to see another person’s chaos when we look beyond our front door steps. Sometimes it seems as if everyone around us is so well put together that we are the odd duck in a sea of swans. The reality is, however, that we are all swans. We’re all the same, even when the water is murky.

Yesterday started the third week of the new school year… I, once again, have eight glorious hours of alone time. Do you know what one can do with eight hours of alone time? I had forgotten until recently. Though I do miss the kids (have to get used to the “back to school” routine all over again), it is wonderful to have this time to myself. I’ve finally set my office hours since, unlike last school year, I’m a work-from-home-mom. I have wonderful quiet time to spend in prayer; time to catch up with online friends and reading; and time to really pace myself. There is more value to school that just the kids’ educations! We are planning a move soon (same school district, different location)– mid September we’re hoping– and having this time is going to be really beneficial to getting things planned and ready.

Speaking of the upcoming move… I have prayed over this (our house on the market; finding a new home, etc) for months. Literally, months. I was convinced a few months ago that we’d be moving by the beginning of the summer. That has, of course, come and gone. I did feel a little let down, but realized that I must be patient and wait on God’s timing. After all, He is the one who knows our (my family’s) future. I started praying that He would send the right person to us… the one He wanted to see in our house. The funny thing about prayer is… when you ask, you receive.

Three weeks ago, hubs and I began talking about the possibility of renting the house while it is up for sale. It has been sitting there empty all this time (do you know what happens to an un-lived-in house?) and wasn’t doing us any good. We weren’t making anything off it, and were in fact losing money that we can’t afford to lose. We talked about renting it for all of about an hour on a Friday night, and decided we’d talk about it more later. The following Monday, I received a call from an incredibly wonderful woman who was interested in buying, but wanted to know if we’d consider renting for a year with an option to buy. We hadn’t even finished discussing the possibilities of renting… hadn’t made definite plans, hadn’t done anything. And this woman just fell right into our laps. Remember what I asked for in prayer? That God would send us the right person? Well, she and I talked several times and each time just confirmed in my mind that this was orchestrated by God Himself. Our house is officially leased now!

I also prayed that God would show us where He wanted us to make our home. The Thursday following Monday’s call regarding our house, I received a call regarding a house for us. We looked at it that evening and both of us knew right then that it was the one for us. Both our minds were made up before even discussing it… without any doubts whatsoever. In four days time, God not only brought us the person who belongs in our house, but He also showed us the house in which we belong. God’s perfect timing!

Life has been crazy and chaotic; stressful and unorganized; and feeling completely out of control at times… but the greatest part is knowing that even when it feels out of control, God is always in control! I don’t have to worry or stress or fear… God is always there and He is awesome! (Now if He would just take care of this toothache for me! Ha.. only kidding, sort of.)

Wow, talk about a brain dump!

Jul 7th, 2011

by Nickie.

Comments are off for this post

Ok, let me just get this out of the way right now. I haven’t visited my admin panel since upgrading to the latest release of WordPress until today… and I absolutely HATE my admin panel now. HAHA! Seriously, the font is too small and certain things are kinda crammed up. I don’t like it. But then again, I’m used to the old look. After all, I’ve only been using it that way for… oh, I don’t know, about six years or so. So that’s out of the way, on to better things…

I know I said I was staring the Made to Crave Bible study (for the second time) but I think my timing is not God’s timing on this one. I just couldn’t get into it, again. So I’m doing a different study, on the book of Acts, that I got from my pastor. This study is AMAZING! It really is. See what happens when things are done on God’s timing instead of my own? LOL I know I know, you’d think I’d learn that by now, right?

I have decided that God’s timing is what is going on with this house we’re trying to sell also. I keep thinking it’ll sell any day, annnny daaaaay now. I’m being impatient. And it’s silly, I know. It’s silly to not realize that God is in control of that too. It’ll sell in His time, not mine. He knows my future, so I am trying to learn a lesson in patience. Plus, I think (after much thought and prayer on this) that He is waiting for my business to really take off… He’s waiting for me to have steady “paychecks” for some reason that I’m not aware of. And I’m cool with that!

And speaking of that business… Thirty-One is the one I’m taking about. I’ve just recently starting actually trying to sell/promote BeautiControl. Mostly because the products are absolutely amazing… this coming from a 20+ year faithful Mary Kay user… and I want everyone to know how amazing they are! I signed on to buy for myself and my daughter… and maybe family and friends. But not to sell it. Honestly, though, the products are too good to not share with online friends too.

Thirty-One is still my primary focus however. I can not tell you how much I love these products! Just yesterday I got a party order in (that shipped in about a week and a half by the way!) and it was like Christmas in my house! I ordered a few things for myself.. LOVE THEM.. and of course looked through every customer’s order (making sure everything was right.. customer service!) and I am just so amazed every time I see a product in person that I haven’t seen before! My FB giveaway winner’s Thermal Tote is so cute I have to have one myself! She chose Paparazzi Dot with her name in hot pink and OHHH it is soooo cute! Hey, check out my site and see for yourself… there’s lots of stuff being retired to make way for the amazing new FALL LINE so if you see something you want, contact me ASAP!

Oh, and don’t forget my 100th Fan Giveaway at BeautiControl by Nickie is still going on! Check out my sidebar (or the link in the previous sentence) and “like” my page! The winner is gonna get an awesome Spa pack! WOOT!

(It’s been a long time since I wrote a “brain dump” post…lol.)

Just one of those days…

Oct 28th, 2010

by Nickie.

Comments are off for this post

Do you ever have one of those days where you just can’t get it together? Where your brain is tired? Your body is tired? And you just want to crawl under the blanket and sleeeeep for hours on end? Yes? No?

I’m having one of those days today. Actually, it started last night and has carried over into today. I just can’t seem to get it together today. I try to put together coherent thoughts and fail. I am tired, mentally and physically. Maybe more mentally than physically.

I crave alone time. Time to just sit and think. Time to enjoy absolute silence. Time to reflect. Time to relax. Time to meditate. Time. I crave it, then I feel guilty about it. Mom guilt. It’s such a dirty word.

I tell myself there’s no reason to feel guilty; we all need time to rest and recuperate. We all need time alone to just be. As a mom, that is near impossible. As a mom, those days are so few. But so needed.

I don’t only crave alone time, I crave alone time with my hubby. We never have any, ever. It would be so nice to just sit and talk (without interruption or eavesdropping) and just be. We need that. I need that.

I love being a mom and wife. But I think I could be a better mom if I had time to myself now and then. I think I could be a better wife if I had time to myself, and kid-less time with hubby, now and then. But with a limited budget and even less time, I don’t know how to manage either.

I wear so many hats– mom, wife, maid, cook, accountant, manager, doctor, nurse– sometimes in the midst of it all, I forget me. I’m so many things to so many people, when do I have time to just be a woman? And how to I get out of mom-mode and into me-mode? How do I find the alone time I need, and not be riddled with guilt the whole time? Or feel the need to rush home because “the house will fall in without me?”

Today is one of those days. I could really use some alone time. But how do I find it?