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Answered Prayers

Crazy, chaotic, and awesome…

I haven’t been writing much lately… actually for a few months; and I know I’ve lost some readers in that time. It’s okay, and I understand. Life has been hectic (and somewhat insane) as it so often can be, and I’ve struggled to find the time to really focus on putting thoughts to paper (or keyboard in this case). I’ve missed it, I must admit. I’ve missed giving my thoughts a voice; I’ve missed sharing that voice with you; and I’ve missed, most of all, the interaction between us.

It is so heart-warming to know that there is someone else out there who feels the way I do about something; someone who is or has had the same struggles as me; someone who understands what it means to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and child of God… and how stressful this life can be. Logically, I know, we all know, that we aren’t alone in this world. But sometimes it’s hard to see another person’s chaos when we look beyond our front door steps. Sometimes it seems as if everyone around us is so well put together that we are the odd duck in a sea of swans. The reality is, however, that we are all swans. We’re all the same, even when the water is murky.

Yesterday started the third week of the new school year… I, once again, have eight glorious hours of alone time. Do you know what one can do with eight hours of alone time? I had forgotten until recently. Though I do miss the kids (have to get used to the “back to school” routine all over again), it is wonderful to have this time to myself. I’ve finally set my office hours since, unlike last school year, I’m a work-from-home-mom.  I have wonderful quiet time to spend in prayer; time to catch up with online friends and reading; and time to really pace myself. There is more value to school that just the kids’ educations! We are planning a move soon (same school district, different location)– mid September we’re hoping– and having this time is going to be really beneficial to getting things planned and ready.

Speaking of the upcoming move… I have prayed over this (our house on the market; finding a new home, etc) for months. Literally, months. I was convinced a few months ago that we’d be moving by the beginning of the summer. That has, of course, come and gone. I did feel a little let down, but realized that I must be patient and wait on God’s timing. After all, He is the one who knows our (my family’s) future. I started praying that He would send the right person to us… the one He wanted to see in our house. The funny thing about prayer is… when you ask, you receive.

Three weeks ago, hubs and I began talking about the possibility of renting the house while it is up for sale. It has been sitting there empty all this time (do you know what happens to an un-lived-in house?) and wasn’t doing us any good. We weren’t making anything off it, and were in fact losing money that we can’t afford to lose. We talked about renting it for all of about an hour on a Friday night, and decided we’d talk about it more later. The following Monday, I received a call from an incredibly wonderful woman who was interested in buying, but wanted to know if we’d consider renting for a year with an option to buy. We hadn’t even finished discussing the possibilities of renting… hadn’t made definite plans, hadn’t done anything. And this woman just fell right into our laps. Remember what I asked for in prayer? That God would send us the right person? Well, she and I talked several times and each time just confirmed in my mind that this was orchestrated by God Himself. Our house is officially leased now!

I also prayed that God would show us where He wanted us to make our home. The Thursday following Monday’s call regarding our house, I received a call regarding a house for us. We looked at it that evening and both of us knew right then that it was the one for us. Both our minds were made up before even discussing it… without any doubts whatsoever. In four days time, God not only brought us the person who belongs in our house, but He also showed us the house in which we belong.  God’s perfect timing!

Life has been crazy and chaotic; stressful and unorganized; and feeling completely out of control at times… but the greatest part is knowing that even when it feels out of control, God is always in control! I don’t have to worry or stress or fear… God is always there and He is awesome! (Now if He would just take care of this toothache for me! Ha.. only kidding, sort of.)

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It’s not within my ability…

Sometimes it is so hard to love someone who has wronged you. Sometimes it’s more than hard…it’s literally humanly impossible. That is the point I am at right now. The humanly impossible point.

Several months ago, I felt drawn to a new member of our church– someone I had known from my school days (junior high and high school). She was going though a very hard time as her husband had just been sentenced to serve ten years in prison for a crime he was wrongly accused of. I reached out to this person in love and friendship, as did our entire church. I wanted to help, didn’t know how to help, but wanted to in any way I could. Our church got together with a couple other local churches and put a new roof on her house– it was in dire need and leaking with every drop of rain. This was in December, just before Christmas. We saw her in church the Sunday after and haven’t seen her since.

This person was friended by myself, the Hubs, and several others on Facebook. Several of us contacted her periodically inviting her back to church, checking in on her and her children, etc. The Hubs contacted her to ask how things were going, etc, trying to reach out in a friendly way. That, as it turns out, was a mistake. She took  his gesture as an opening for her. She began talking with him, asking him questions about our marriage, and even told him that I wanted to visit my sister in Florida because there was “another man.” She called him at work and asked him to meet her for “lunch.”  He declined and ceased communication. He also defriended her on Facebook.

This person… who called herself a Christian; who took full advantage of the generosity of our church; came after my husband as if it were perfectly acceptable. The icing on the cake? After Hubs stopped communications with her, she moved on to one of my best friends and fellow church members. She began calling her husband at all hours of the day and night, asking him to “come over” because she “needed a friend.”  I honestly don’t know what to think of someone like this.

I honestly had vengeance in my heart. I am ashamed to tell you the things that were going through my head, and won’t. Thanks to my good friend and another wonderful church friend, I ended up spending a good amount of time in quiet, praying, and listening. Now I feel absolute pity for this person. That her life is so miserable; that she is so lost… she feels this kind of behavior is okay? That is really beyond sad.

God has spoken to me in more than one way. Our sermon immediately after this was about loving others as Christ loved us. That, my friends, is a hard pill to swallow when it comes to a woman who was trying to insinuate herself into your marriage. However, I know it can be done, but not of my strength. I am not quite there yet, but I am getting there. I have prayed for God to fill me with His love and forgiveness. I can’t do it on my own, not even close.

I thank God that the Hubs is the kind of man he is; the kind of man who is faithful and true not only to me and our marriage, but to the God who created our world. I thank God that he is strong enough in faith to recognize a devil’s trap when it surfaces.

I thank God for giving me the strength to forgive and love… even someone like her.

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I don’t wanna go through the motions…

I have really neglected my blog lately. The only excuse I have is my mind has been so preoccupied with life things that I just haven’t had it in me to write. God is leading me in a different direction right now, which doesn’t mean that I’m giving up this blogging thing entirely. It just means that my focus isn’t on my blog at this time.

I have prayed that He would use me in whatever way He sees fit. And this past weekend, He spoke to me. I know what that is now. I know that I have to step out of my comfort zone to do this, and I am working on doing just that. Am I afraid? You bet I am. Am I nervous? More than I can tell you. But I know that He has a plan for me and I trust Him. He knows me better than I know myself!

Recently, I have become supremely obsessed with a song by Matthew West. This song really speaks to me on a deep level.

Until next time…

This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

‘Cause I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (’cause I don’t wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I’m finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don’t wanna go through the motions

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What a weekend!!!

First off let me say THANK YOU for the prayers! The power of prayer is amazing and I know that now more than ever!  The past three days were the most amazing days I can remember in a very very long time. I am mentally and physically exhausted but it was so worth it!

I could go on and on and on about the amazing blessings I received during this three day weekend, but honestly I’m not doing so good at putting together coherent sentences right now (that mental exhaustion thing again… I’ll give you a full account after I’ve rested up!).  If you’ve never experience a lay-renewal then you should!  It’s like a revival hyped up on caffeine and chocolate and OH MY it is awesome AWESOME!  I learned, I cried, I felt, I experienced… and I am forever changed because of it!  Details later… rest now.  :)

(I will also catch up on my 30 Letters series and 3in30 goals after I’ve slept for about 24 hours straight.  Okay, so 24 hours straight isn’t going to happen, but maybe I can get a good 8 anyway.)  ;)

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As it’s all melting away…

I have to be a little sad because, silly me, I took for granted that the fluffy four inches of white stuff we got yesterday and last night would stick around a little longer… and I didn’t get any pictures this time. None.

And this was a beautiful snow too. Not that the other snow days we’ve had weren’t beautiful, but there was something extra special about this one. Maybe it was that the snow was so light and powdery, I don’t know. It just looked different. And now it’s nearly completely gone.

But, I do have the vision of that beauty in my mind. (Would have been nice if I’d gotten off my rear with the camera though!)

Even though I didn’t capture the wonderful white stuff on film, I can bask in its beauty and be thankful for what I’ve been given. I have never, in my nearly 37 years, seen snow this many times, this close together, in this part of the country. I think, though I’m losing count, this is our third or maybe fourth snow since Christmas. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a winter-loving type of girl. I’m a sand and sun kinda girl, as I’m sure you can tell by my blog theme. But, who doesn’t love snow? It’s like being a kid again! God has blessed us so tremendously, and giving us all this snow and all it’s beauty is just another amazing blessing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news… I am so very proud to announce that I have joined Thirty-One Gifts as a Consultant! This company is such a God-send, and so is my sponsor/director. Though I’ve never actually met her personally, she has been so completely amazing and supportive. She even paid for my registration while trusting me, a complete stranger to her, to pay her back when the funds are available! (Yes, I cried, and prayed and praised God, and cried some more!) It’s amazing to me that I can feel the love of Jesus just in her voice!

Thirty-One, if you’ve never heard of the company, is a faith-based company that makes the most amazing gifts for girls and women! I’ve never seen so many awesome bags and purses, and let me tell you my own wish list is a mile long! I’m very excited to get started and very very anxiously awaiting the delivery of my big pink box! Most impressive to me, personally, is that I received a phone call from the corporate office welcoming me into the company and offering any assistance I might need. What direct selling company does that?! NONE that I’ve ever heard of. Thirty-One got its name from the Old Testament passage in Proverbs 31. Just one more thing I love about this company!

I firmly believe that this is in God’s plan for me, and I pray that He allows me to be successful while glorifying His Name!

I’d be so very thrilled if you’d visit my new Thirty-One web site, http://www.mythirtyone.com/nickiesmith and even more thrilled if you decide to go shopping with me! I’ve prayed for so long that God would lead me to the job He has for me so I can help out with the household expenses (for those of you who don’t know, the past 15 months have been very trying and difficult for us; which is why I was offline for almost a year). This opportunity could very well mean my contribution in the form of a small income while still being able to be home with the kids before and after school, and doing all the things I already do! Praise God!

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